second sight

 

I find you
In the dark dreaming,  when I should be sleeping
You are restless, unsettled
Almost lost, repeating you will find a way for keeping
I feel you
Prickly, discouraged…truly fearful, clearly fretting
And I try to soothe you
But I am uncertain if this is a choice you are letting
I wait you
Ever patient, purposeful…unyielding and steadfast
Merely a mortal I realize my reason
I could value no man better, be blessed a greater gift to task
I love you
Deliberate, unhurried..my miraculous stroke of fate
My arms open and waiting
Will draw you in, grant you respite…resonate

 

Grief stays with me
It has moved in and taken hold
Filling those parts of me once empty
With a sorrow piercing and cold
It does not speak when I address it
I question how long it will stay
I contest it, my challenged unnoticed
I attempt reason, only to be met with dismay
It makes me doubt those parts of me
That were once filled with confidence and light
It quickens my pulse, leaves me unsettled
Comes and wakes me in the night
I see it outline in the darkness
A shadow shades darker than black
Even in the morn, it dims the brightest sunlight
An eclipse that steals and wont give back
Grief it shapes me
Sinks silent deep into my skin
Swells my bones, bitters my breath
Turns all of my wanting into a sinister sin
I request its name; that I may call for mercy
I beg its icy touch to cease
I feel its building malcontent
And shudder under its ungratified release
Greif, my boon companion
I pull you ever closer to my chest
Surrender, I will give you surrender
If in turn I may find rest.

 

Time of Abundance

 

My time of abundance is waning

It is as absolute as a truth

So expansive, so gratefully yielding

A feeling reminiscent of youth 

 

It has wrapped itself around me

Engulfed me in its tide

It has reached within, without , with wanting

It filled, it receded , it promised, it lied

 

The degree of my copiousness is dampening

Yet, I am ready, barely afraid

My arms are tired of carrying

My thoughts, burned out and played

 

I welcome a bit of scarcity

I am meant to consciously let go

My angels, they have assured me

They have a plan, it course will show

 

It is okay, they hush me

“quiet yourself, and take breath

What you value will take on more meaning

What you love will not be put to test” 

 

Ah, my time of abundance is waning

That what was so expansive will soon end

Do you feel it?  Come closer

Let us see what degree of scarcity we can transcend

 

 

 

Spectre

I can feel it. Strong and smothering
It pushes into my solace, needles my strength
Drives until its demands are met
Then lingers, like regret

Today, I can taste it, gritty, bitter
It sits thick on the back of my tongue,
My throat clamps tight, ill fitting
I try to force it forward, coughing, spitting

It fills my nose, repellent and reeking
Saturated with burdens and blame
It’s scent is unceasing, even in open air
The smell of deceit, disappointment, despair

It wants to consume me
From both inside and out, slowly, no, quickly
It wants to dominate, devour
Leave me no recourse, relinquished of power

It calls me by name
It voice a hushed growl
“Come child, you know me,” it hums
My breath quickens, until no more breath comes

And in that moment, I think it should take me
So tired of persevering, would be so simple to succumb
But in the very moment I claimed no more
My breath returned with a roar

It is here, I can see it
Anger, frustration, hatred doubt
Fool me once; I thought I slay you
Fool me twice; “welcome” , some companions remain true