I am afraid


I am afraid of the truth, and for good reason

It speaks of longings I cannot acquire

Of strengths given into weakness

Of gratitude stolen, not inspired

It tells of sadness and disappointment

Carries the bitter honesty of lies

It has been so long since I was truly happy

Been forever since I was startled by my own sighs

Sighs born of wakefulness and wanting

Brought forth by hands, tongue, heat

The solace of silence

Where satisfaction and contentment meet

That is where I find you

Within the comfort of bitter and sweet

Of a memory that warms like melting sugar

Yet pierces with desires incomplete

You lie beyond my senses

The outline of your presence constant and still

Never close enough for reaching

But not so far I fear I never will

Sink beneath the weight of your kisses

Bend beneath the potency of your touch

Breathe in the scent of your significance

Stilling the me that hastens too much

I am afraid of the truth and for good reason

It does not grant me a place to hide

It discovers me naked, defenseless

It was no one but me to whom I lied



little and white

a lie, little and white.

it waits, she waits

the hour hand, the minute

the second-hand sweeps creating the new moments clean slate

A ploy. rehearsed and unclever

overwritten and under staged

you are the star,  I the understudy

you sparkle, glisten;, I press against the bars of an invisible cage

how long do you  plan to hold me

beneath your narcissism, you nonsense, your spite

how long will I allow you

there can be no champion if there is no  fight

a line, forged yet fine

finds you rooted, restless, reaching

beads of fear, sour and seeping

line lips silent and un speaking

a lie. little and white

keeping pace with the measures of wait

sweeping,  patiently sweeping

until it arrives, final, focused…checkmate







Grief 2

Grief, she will come to you
In a manner she will choose
Her stay is to her liking
Matters not if you refuse
She will become an insistent companion
Untiring and self possessed
She will lie with you in silence
Until you plead she give you rest
Grief, she will not guide you
That journey is solely your own
Many have claimed she misled them;
Some paths are just destined to be known
She worries not with reason
There is no propriety in longing or loss
What once was there is now missing
No use in calculating the cost
With her there is no judgment
She is not concerned with right or wrong
She has no use for consequence
Repercussion will only her stay prolong
She will not yield to bargaining
She has no need to settle a score
You may engage her in measures
Yet she is not less, nor is she more
Grief, she will come to find you
Her arrival inevitable, her presence ordained
She will wrap herself around you
As you surrender what sorrow has claimed

And I will stand by you steadfast
Until she goes from which she came