Grief 2

Grief, she will come to you
In a manner she will choose
Her stay is to her liking
Matters not if you refuse
She will become an insistent companion
Untiring and self possessed
She will lie with you in silence
Until you plead she give you rest
Grief, she will not guide you
That journey is solely your own
Many have claimed she misled them;
Some paths are just destined to be known
She worries not with reason
There is no propriety in longing or loss
What once was there is now missing
No use in calculating the cost
With her there is no judgment
She is not concerned with right or wrong
She has no use for consequence
Repercussion will only her stay prolong
She will not yield to bargaining
She has no need to settle a score
You may engage her in measures
Yet she is not less, nor is she more
Grief, she will come to find you
Her arrival inevitable, her presence ordained
She will wrap herself around you
As you surrender what sorrow has claimed

And I will stand by you steadfast
Until she goes from which she came

Grief stays with me
It has moved in and taken hold
Filling those parts of me once empty
With a sorrow piercing and cold
It does not speak when I address it
I question how long it will stay
I contest it, my challenged unnoticed
I attempt reason, only to be met with dismay
It makes me doubt those parts of me
That were once filled with confidence and light
It quickens my pulse, leaves me unsettled
Comes and wakes me in the night
I see it outline in the darkness
A shadow shades darker than black
Even in the morn, it dims the brightest sunlight
An eclipse that steals and wont give back
Grief it shapes me
Sinks silent deep into my skin
Swells my bones, bitters my breath
Turns all of my wanting into a sinister sin
I request its name; that I may call for mercy
I beg its icy touch to cease
I feel its building malcontent
And shudder under its ungratified release
Greif, my boon companion
I pull you ever closer to my chest
Surrender, I will give you surrender
If in turn I may find rest.

 

Spectre

I can feel it. Strong and smothering
It pushes into my solace, needles my strength
Drives until its demands are met
Then lingers, like regret

Today, I can taste it, gritty, bitter
It sits thick on the back of my tongue,
My throat clamps tight, ill fitting
I try to force it forward, coughing, spitting

It fills my nose, repellent and reeking
Saturated with burdens and blame
It’s scent is unceasing, even in open air
The smell of deceit, disappointment, despair

It wants to consume me
From both inside and out, slowly, no, quickly
It wants to dominate, devour
Leave me no recourse, relinquished of power

It calls me by name
It voice a hushed growl
“Come child, you know me,” it hums
My breath quickens, until no more breath comes

And in that moment, I think it should take me
So tired of persevering, would be so simple to succumb
But in the very moment I claimed no more
My breath returned with a roar

It is here, I can see it
Anger, frustration, hatred doubt
Fool me once; I thought I slay you
Fool me twice; “welcome” , some companions remain true